This is Part 3 of the article series concerning the idea of Complementarianism and whether or not it is Biblical. Those that adhere to this concept claim they do not believe or practice patriarchy, yet in essence they do, because they claim that the man is in charge of the woman and that they have the right to order her life, if they are married to her. Where then is the difference between the Complementarian and the Patriarchal adherent? Is Complementarianism truly Biblical? This writer emphatically states that it does not meet the requirements of being a Biblical mandate from God.
In order to answer the first paragraph, those that claim to be Complementarian, too often select passages of Scripture, but they lift it out of its near context and its remote context. It is all too easy to subscribe to a particular doctrine by sequestering your favorite passages, lifting them out of their context and holding them up as a mandate from God. While this is over-simplified, with this quaint anecdote being used, nevertheless: An atheist desperate to prove that there really isn’t any God and he so wanted to use the Holy Bible as his ammunition. He selected a verse of Scripture to confound his Christian opponent. He selected a portion of Scripture from Psalm 53, and triumphantly declared, “SEE, your own Bible says that ‘there is no God!’ But the Christian asked where the supposed Scripture was located and the atheist pointed to it in the Bible. Then the Christian correctly read the ENTIRE passage from the Holy Bible:
The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. Corrupt are they, and have done abominable iniquity: there is none that doeth good.
While this is truly over-simplified, the result is the same. We cannot claim to be true exegetes of Holy Writ if we pull Bible verses out of their context and then claim that this is a mandate from God. So as this writer was choosing the title for this particular part, at first a title was chosen just to include Ephesians 5:21-23 which are the actual verses in question. However, one needs to read the entire chapter, and perhaps even going as far back as 4:14ff, thus leading into the verses in question as well as going beyond to the end of Chapter 5; hence the title of this article. This writer is also cognizant that this article is going to be published on Valentines Day as well as the unfortunate debut of the ungodly movie of ’50 Shades of Grey.’ I do not necessarily wish to derail this article, but if Christians truly think that they will be able to view this movie without any spiritual harm, they are sadly mistaken and need to repent if they have viewed this movie or they have even read the novel. If you lay your money down to read or see spiritual trash, you are in essence condoning and approving the material, and you will have to answer the Lord Almighty on the day of your judgment. Now that this short monotribe is finished on that ungodly movie and novel, this writer will continue with this article. Phew!
Let us now look at:
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
The first verse of 5:21 should tell the whole story, but for those who cannot yet see, this writer will elaborate upon the topic in question. This article will simply be too long if all of the verses that one needs to look at are included, so the verses will be listed, but readers needs to read them on their own (see above).
So let us look at 5:21 and the very first word in this verse: the Greek word is ὑποτασσόμενοι which is a Present Passive Participle, Nominative Plural Masculine word. Or in other words, if you are not a Greek-head, this connotes that it is always a Present action; we allow ourselves to be brought into subjection; and it is a participle that connotes verbal action. Now it seems like the Complementarian has it all, however, let us next look at the Greek word ἀλλήλοις, which is a Dative Plural Masculine and therefore translated as ‘one to another’ or ‘to each other.’ It should also be noted that just because the gender is masculine does not necessarily mean it is only for males or vice versa if the Greek gender is feminine. Sometimes it is in regard to gender but the context will clearly inform the reader that it applies to a specific gender when it does. So submission to one another is to be done in the “fear of Christ.” The KJV translated it as ‘God,” but the Greek text lists it as Χριστοῦ, which is translated as Christ. Furthermore, verse 21 is seen by this writer as a pivotal verse: it concludes that which comes before to the church and then opens that which comes after; to husbands and wives.
Now let us look at verse 22. We needed to look at verse 21 first because Complementarians steadfastly ignore verse 21 and sequester or lift out verses 22-23 because quite frankly, they do not like what verse 21 has to say about the situation. However, grammatically, verse 22 cannot stand on its own; which the Holy Spirit deliberately did and thus gave to the Apostle Paul to write down. Verse 22 has the word ‘submitting’ there in the verse, but it is not there in the Greek: it is written as, “The wives to your own husbands just as to the Lord.” There isn’t any verb in this verse, thus it forces the reader to go back to verse 21 to get the verbal aspect, which absolutely ties verse 22 to verse 21 without any doubt and it cannot be undone because the Holy Spirit dictated it thus. What we have here is a figure of speech called ‘ellipsis,’ where a word is omitted and one must use the context to get that word and how it is being used. Remember, it was used in verse 21 with the admonition to “Submitting yourselves one to another…” This is why they take verses 22-23 out of its immediate context because Christ has mandated that both must submit to each other in the fear of Christ. The Ryrie Study Bible actually goes to the extreme and physically separates verse 21 from verse 22 and inserts a paragraph heading to make it look like it is a separate entity. However, verse 22 cannot stand alone grammatically, no matter how many paragraph headings one inserts into the text. Readers please be informed that chapters, verses, chapter headings and such like is all man-made and was not inserted into the Holy Writ until the 13th century by ArchBishop Stephen Langton, which is what the modern divisions are based upon. However, there were other attempts at divisions as early as the 3rd century. Robert Estienne in 1551 is the one that is credited with dividing the Scriptures into verses that we still use today. You can read more about it HERE.
Now for verse 23: “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.” The useage of ‘head’ can also mean ;’origin,’ which many scholars acknowledge, and if we read this verse as such:
“For the husband is the origin of the wife, even as Christ is the origin of the church: and He, [Christ] is the Savior of the body [Church].”
Men should be taking a sigh of relief….why? Because, at long last husbands do not have the onerous responsibility of saving your wife. This has and always has been the responsibility of Jesus Christ. He is the only one who can save us. This writer has heard such things like the husband is responsible to cleanse the wife with the washing of the Word as well as sanctify her. Really? This is where the Mormons get their idea that a wife will earn salvation if her husband accepts her into heaven. Really? How scary! So, if a woman’s husband begins to hate her, she is bound to burn in hell. This would be a very good reason for all women to only marry unbelievers and then lead them to salvation. In this way, the husband would be beholden to the wife. This is what happens when the Bible is used to defend your own personal beliefs without relying upon the actual Biblical text and keeping everything in its proper context.
When looking at verses 24-33, it further gives to the husband the character traits that he is to adopt to himself. Specifically, in verse 25:
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.
The word for love in this verse is ἀγαπᾶτε, which is the ‘love of God’ and not ερος or φιλεῶ, with the first being the ‘love of God,’ the second one being ‘sexual love,’ and the third being ‘brotherly love,’ from which we get the name for the city of Philadelphia. So it is interesting that husbands are commanded to love their wives with the same love that God has for us; they are also commanded to give themselves as a sacrifice and to serve their wives as Christ loved and died for His Church and submitted to His Bride. Yes, Christ submitted all the way to death. He is the perfect example that men are to follow.
In order to get the full context, the reader can go as far back as:
That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive. But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love. This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind, Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart: Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness. But ye have not so learned Christ; If so be that ye have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus: That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
The reader can continue from the above verses through the end of Chapter 5. But one can quickly read that the analogy of the Body of Christ is used, and one part is not above another. This is why the English word ‘head’ should be translated as ‘Origin’ and not with the connotation of ‘corporate head’ or ‘boss.’ The Lord Jesus Christ is the True Head of the Church, His Body and therefore the Head of every marriage. Both husband and wife are to submit to Christ Jesus first.
In concluding this article, this writer would like to focus on:
Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
If the husband desires to be respected, the KJV uses ‘reverence,’ he first must love as Christ loved the Church and even as he loves his own body…and then….so that the wife might φοβῆται the husband. The Greek word is a Present Passive Subjunctive, third singular; which comes from an even older Greek form, φοβέομαι, which means to reverence or respect. However, the word is in the subjunctive form and is always used with either the words, ‘may’ or ‘might,’ plus it is passive. What this means to this writer is this: if the husband wishes to obtain reverence or respect from his wife, then he has to follow Christ and give himself sacrificially to his wife, and then “so that the wife might respect her husband.” It is conditionally based upon the husband’s actions. It is not a command from God to the wife.
When one looks at the Complementarian viewpoint that Owen Strachen promotes, it really looks nothing at all like the Holy Scriptures that I read, which is based upon the Greek Scriptures. Be Blessed this Valentines Day, and husbands LOVE [ἀγαπᾶτε] your wives.
Is complementarianism truly biblical? As far as this writer’s personal studies have led, it is not. When a true student of the Word of God, or the Bible, reads such articles as that written by Owen Strachan, the President of the Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, who has laid out some of the pillars of his beliefs regarding complementarianism, and then lists supposed Scriptural accounts to back his assertions up, it simply does not bear out. In the first part of his article he covers the controversy regarding Gavin Peacock, a pastor located in Calgary, Alberta, Canada who also believes in complementarianism and who also wrote his own article regarding this subject. However, what will be covered in this article are the points Strachan lists in his article concerning complementarian viewpoints.
In the Bible, God makes the cosmos in Genesis 1, and then he makes man and woman, husband and wife, in Genesis 2. He gives this relationship structure and form. Adam is the head of his wife; his wife is his helper. Eve is created from Adam. Her body depends on his for existence. This is a signal from the very start of Scripture: the position of marital headship given to men is one of responsibility and sacrifice, not ease and self-indulgence (Strachan).
Strachan quotes Genesis 1 and 2, so let us read these Scriptures to see if this is what they say. Verses 1-25 tell of God speaking creation into existence. It is in v26-27 that we first find the beginnings of mankind.
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
The only thing in these two verses that Strachan is correct about is that God created man…male and female created He them. No sign of order…no headship…just a simple statement of fact. Plus, He unequivocally states, “Let THEM have dominion…” So, God is the Creator. Exactly what did God create? He created the male and female spirits. How do we know this? The Word that God spoke about His creation: He was going to make mankind in His image. What is God’s image? It is Spirit, as we find in John 4:24, “God is Spirit.” If the age-old argument is to be proffered that the word ‘male’ is first and then ‘female;’ well in the order of things…something has to be first and something must be last when dealing with a list of words. It still gives no authority of placement in these verses. To say so is eisegesis of the worst kind; and what exactly is ‘eisegesis’?
Eisegesis (/ˌaɪsəˈdʒiːsəs/; from the Greek preposition εἰς “into” and the ending from the English word exegesis, which in turn is derived from ἐξηγεῖσθαι “to lead out”) is the process of interpreting a text or portion of text in such a way that the process introduces one’s own presuppositions, agendas, or biases into and onto the text. This is commonly referred to as reading into the text. The act is often used to “prove” a pre-held point of concern to the reader and to provide him or her with confirmation bias in accordance with his or her pre-held agenda (Wikipedia).
The next chapter of the Bible that Strachan refers to is Genesis 2 and the verses, though not listed, are these:
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
God first created their spirits, but then He put them in ONE body (a foreshadowing of the ONE body of Christ, His church), and then God looked at Adam (meaning, ‘red earth’), and said “I will make him an help meet (Hbw= ezer, a strong help)”; so God took woman’s spirit out of Adam and gave the female spirit her own fleshly body. Adam then said “…she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” As we read this biblical text in Genesis 2, there still isn’t any command of God for man to have ‘headship’ over his wife. It simply is just not there! In verse 24 we read:
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
This verse sounds more like commentary from Moses who wrote the Pentateuch, especially since at this juncture there was no father or mother to leave. There would be in the future, but not at this scene in the Garden of Eden. Furthermore, Moses lived in the midst of a patriarchal society and so it would behoove one to believe that as the writer of Genesis, that this would have been the perfect time to have instituted patriarchalism or complementarianism if this truly was the will of God. But as we have just seen, Moses did not institute either biblical worldview when he wrote the very words of God.
So for those who hold the complementarian view and for them to say that the book of Genesis supports ‘headship’ and ‘wifely submission’ are errant in their views because the record of the creation of man by God shows no such thing. Furthermore, there isn’t any commands uttered by God to Adam (who was both male and female at the same time) to engage in any such practice. Neither did God command the now separated man and woman to engage in any such lifestyle.
The first we read about any such possibility is in Genesis 3:16 and yet God is not cursing the woman, but merely tells her that since sin has now entered into their existence, the resulting skewing of their equality will now be that the male Adam will begin to rule over the female Adam. We should now see that this ‘headship’ if you will and forced ‘submission’ leads into the patriarchal system, but it was only introduced after sin entered the Garden of Eden and not before when they were in God’s paradise. So how is this God’s perfect will?
This writer will continue in additional articles to cover this large topic. So stay tuned.
Fatherhood has been around for eons, especially since the Lord God Almighty is the greatest Father of all. God patterned the role of Father after Himself and He is the epitome. The greatest and most wonderful example of what a true Father should act like. So what are some of the examples that God the Father has left as a pattern that all men who want to be good Fathers should imitate? The first and greatest example is that God the Father is always faithful; second, He is always there for His children; thirdly, He truly knows how to love His children; fourth, He occasionally spoils His children and lavishes us with His gifts, both spiritual and physical, and fifth, He knows how to lovingly discipline us as well when we need His strong, guiding Hand. In the sixth place, He is our provider and keeps us fed, clothed and gives us physical shelter from the elements. Finally, the seventh example is this: He is our spiritual protector as well and has provided us with eternal life and places us in the midst of his hedge so that even though our enemy, the adversary walks about like a great roaring lion, he cannot touch us when the Lord God Almighty is our shield and our buckler.
This writer did not deliberately place these numbered examples in this order. In fact, this writer was simply writing and when I had placed the second example, I just kept writing. Afterwards, as I was reading what I wrote to check for clarity, I was adding the rest of the numbers in their order and could barely believe how it turned out. This, my friends was the Hand of God in action. Why? It came out too perfect, that is why. Totally awesome is the Lord God Almighty. All right men, those of you who are already fathers and those who someday would like to have his own children…read it and listen up.
- God is always Faithful
- God is always there
- God always loves
- God is the Great Giver
- God’s Grace disciplines us
- God meets our physical needs
- God is our Spiritual life-giver and protector
If this writer had tried to come up with this list from the flesh, I would have been sitting at my computer all day…reality really bytes. So Fathers living here upon earth…here is your list…keep it in front of you at all times and imitate…imitate…imitate!
- Fathers…remain faithful to your family
- Fathers…stay there and just be there
- Fathers…love your children
- Fathers…Give your self to your children
- Fathers…don’t be afraid to lovingly discipline your children
- Fathers…make sure you provide for your children
- Fathers…you can’t give your children eternal life….but you can lead them to the Lord Jesus Christ who can.
So when did people begin to actually set aside a special day to commemorate our Fathers? There is a possibility that it was first started after a mining accident in Monongah, WV in December 1907 and subsequently a memorial service was held in 1908. Another possibility is that it was felt that because Mother’s were being honored so should Fathers. The first time that it was celebrated in June was in 1910 when Sonora Smart Dodd wanted to honor her father who raised all six of his children by himself after his wife died. In that day, most men who became widowers quickly remarried or placed their children in the care of others. Finally, it became a national holiday in 1972 by President Nixon signing it into law. A little tidbit: In different languages we say: Fathers’ Day in English and Día del Padre in Spanish; יום האב in Hebrew and Vatertag in German.
So men….Fathers….Happy Father’s Day, Día del Padre, יום האב, and Vatertag!
In days of old unmarried people met at church picnics, BBQ’s, at church, and if they went on an outing together, they had a chaperone. That all began to change in the 1950’s onward. Couples went on dates by themselves and as it was known to happen in the days when chaperones went along (this is why they were there in the first place…to prevent too much closeness…), too much closeness began to happen. A long detailed account of what occurred over this time period until the present day isn’t really necessary. If you are over 30 you know what happened and if you are under 20 then ask your parents. Free love turned out to not be free at all. Huge social costs were accrued and we are all still paying for all of that ‘free stuff.’
Then the secular world developed dating sites on the internet, and in a way the internet was the new chaperone (at least at first) until the couples in question wanted to meet. But this article isn’t about the secular dating sites necessarily. This is about Christian singles not being able to meet other Christian singles. The pool of available Christian singles in every age category is limited. Unless you happen to live near a mega-church that has a broad spectrum of varying ages in the singles category, your chances of meeting Mr. or Ms. Right are drastically limited. This does not preclude miracles from God. Of course, you should not jump into marriage without the counsel of the Lord. There simply are just too many people who claim to be Christian (and maybe they are, but just not sold-out), who after marriage begin to show their true colors.
So it seems then that some Christians began the first Christian internet dating site, patterning itself after the secular dating sites. The first site that this writer was aware of was Christian Cafe and then later on this writer also tried out Christian Mingle. The only difference is that the people who sign up for this service are supposed to be Christians. The pool gets even smaller when you limit yourself to other sold-out disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ. While none of us are perfect, there is a drastic difference between the lukewarm Christian and the on-fire-for-the-Lord-Jesus-Christian. Even the Lord Jesus Christ doesn’t want lukewarm Christians either, for it is written,
So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.
If you are ‘hot’ then the Lord already has you, and if you are ‘cold’ then the Lord can set you on fire for Him. However, if you are lukewarm…you’re just too comfortable in your pew, throwing in your five bucks every Sunday into the offering plate.
This is where the trouble begins and what this article is about; namely this: can you really tell over the cold internet cabling if someone is truly hot-on-fire for the Lord? It is very easy to put forth a false picture of yourself when there is such a great distance. Of course, the idea is to meet one another, hopefully to find out the truth. But here is a sure-fire way to tell if someone is a true sold-out disciple: you yourself need to actually live the sold-out life of a disciple, and if the person you are talking to on the Christian dating site is not sold-out, you will soon hear the truth coming out of their mouth. Or when you actually meet, if the other person wants to begin a sexual encounter with you outside of Holy Matrimony, then there’s a clue that just screams at you that this person is not a sold-out-on-fire disciple of the Lord Jesus. This probably sounds so old-fashioned, but truth is still truth!
The Scriptures speak boldly about fleeing physical desires and the Lord Jesus was very plain when He spoke about cutting off physical desires in
Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
Of course, this does not mean a literal cutting off of the mentioned parts, but cutting off the source of entry, which is the mind, as we allow wicked thoughts to enter and then we proceed to entertain those thoughts until sin is produced in the flesh. Christians are still under the Laws of God and we are still expected to obey God in our daily lives. This writer has written fourteen articles about this subject to date (see below “The Ten Commandments: Are they still relevant?” for some links to these articles).
So should Christians even use these Christian dating sites? They can be helpful, but just be aware that there are probably a lot of phony Christians or lukewarm ones trolling those sites too. Of course, there are also the true-blue disciples of the Lord Jesus out there as well. There is also a video attached to this article that is a parody of these Christian dating sites that is totally cute, it is meant to be funny, so don’t be offended. This writer had a good belly laugh while watching the video.
So anyone up for a church picnic or BBQ? Maybe we should go back to the old-fashioned way of meeting other singles.
Focus on the Family will debut their documentary, ‘Irreplaceable’ on May 6, 2014. This documentary is about the shifting cultural values that just might possibly irrevocably affect family life, not just here in the United States but worldwide. This is only the first in a series of documentaries that Focus on the Family will be producing. But in a nutshell, this documentary is about
Every member of the human race has the desire for significance—a desire to belong. And the family is where those deepest longings are fulfilled.
Unfortunately, the word “family” has all but lost its meaning in our modern cultural landscape. And the fallout has been significant. Divorce. Crime. Poverty. Addictions. Abuse. Our attempts to redefine and reimagine the family only make these problems worse, not better. When the family is weakened, society suffers. But strong families make the world a better place!(Focus on the Family.)
Everyone has seen the disintegration of the core family unit and the attempt by so many to redefine what ‘family’ is and what it is all about. According to God’s plan, He created male and female and initially placed both spirits in the same body. Eventually, after Adam began to ask God why he did not have a mate, someone who looked like him, i.e. human, God placed Adam into a deep sleep and removed woman from him, forming a new and separate body for her and then presented her to Adam who immediately recognized her as being a part of him. Thus do we read in
Genesis 2:18, 21-24
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
God’s plan has always been one Man and one Woman, coming together in unity and forming a family. After the first couple, each man and each woman were to leave their parents after they were mature, to form yet another family and a safe place for their children to grow up and mature and then leave their parents in an everlasting succession of generations.
The family has always been the core or the nucleus of God’s plan, which was to bring forth His Messiah, His Son, who would be His perfect Lamb and thus offer salvation to each and every person who would do just one thing: believe that God had sent His Son into the world, to die for the sins of many, and that God had raised Him from the dead.
So obviously, the family has always been under attack by God’s enemy: satan. The family has been under attack through shifting cultural mores, divorce, the homosexual/lesbian agenda, the sexual revolution of the 1960’s in their attempts to redefine what ‘family’ means and who it should consist of; namely, two or more people who ‘love’ each other. But this is not what God Almighty said that a ‘family’ consisted of; God defined it as ‘one man and one woman,’ coming together and remaining committed to each other for a lifetime. In other words, “For better or for worse, in sickness and in health…Till death do us part…”
This documentary by Focus on the Family will be discussing these issues and much more as they ask questions and offer some solutions to rebuild your family and the families of others. As Focus on the Family has written
But the documentary is just the beginning. You can make a commitment to building your own family on a solid foundation that will span the generations by making the Gen3 promise. What is the Gen3 Promise? It is a commitment to have a thriving marriage and family for the next 3 generations. It starts with a promise to daily invest in your own family knowing that a healthy family will impact generations to come. So, make the Gen3 promise and start living the Gen3 life now! (Focus on the Family).
This documentary is running in theatres near you on a limited run basis. Tuesday, May 6, 2014 is the opening debut and in most cities it is running for one showing. So check and see what times are available and make this a must-see movie this coming week.
There are endless articles in books, magazines and internet stories of how to find love, how to ditch your date and to create your own therapy and express your hate. Please forgive the rhyme of the first line, but it is February and poets abound with lyrical lines and sonnets of love (author is laughing even as she writes these lines.) Okay. So the topic of this article is “how to keep your husband or wife as the love of your life” (more rhyming.) Biblically speaking…
Let’s look at 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Charity can be translated as LOVE, so yes…
LOVE suffers or puts up with a lot of things for a long time and sometimes this is what we have to do, because none of us are perfect.
LOVE is kind. Sometimes you might want to say what your really think, but if you truly love your spouse, sometimes it’s wiser to just not say anything.
LOVE doesn’t envy. Especially, when your spouse gets that promotion and you wonder when yours is going to come to pass.
LOVE doesn’t know what a BIG EGO is all about. So when you get that promotion, remember that your spouse is probably waiting for one too. So treat them to something they really want and draw them into the limelight with you.
LOVE doesn’t act like a jerk. No explanations are really needed here, we’ve all seen them.
LOVE doesn’t seek applause.
LOVE is not easily provoked, so husbands and wives should not allow themselves to get angry and blow up with every little thing that happens on a daily basis.
LOVE does not think evil things about their spouse. Hmmm…how can I get even with him/her.
LOVE does not rejoice in iniquity or sin, whether you or your spouse commits the infraction, repent as soon as possible if you have transgressed against the Lord your God.
LOVE rejoices in TRUTH. So what is truth? Truth is not a what but a WHO. Truth is the Lord Jesus Christ and truth is His WORD. So to be able to rejoice in TRUTH is to read God’s Word, and apply it to your life and to your marriage.
LOVE bears all things. When your spouse is not doing the above prescriptions, but this also does not mean that you have to be a door mat either.
LOVE believes all things. This does not mean that when your husband/wife comes in late at night with that ‘deer-in-the-headlight-look’ that you believe every story they tell. You reprove in love and get your spouse back on track.
LOVE hopes all things. You hope for the best in your marriage and you are willing to work at it for a life time, never giving up even if your spouse wants to give up on your love. Daily prayer together forges a union that is hard to break.
LOVE endures all things. So when things are not going the way that you think they should, you endure…even as the Lord Jesus Christ did as He forged out our salvation to form a relationship with us for an eternity.
This does not preclude that both husband and wife should rejoice in doing those small things for the love of their life:
1. Taking your spouse on a date night
2. Putting chocolate kisses on their pillow
3. Putting ‘I LOVE YOU’ notes in their lunchbox or briefcase
4. Calling them at lunch time just to hear their voice
5. Candle-light dinners for two
The list could go on and on, so come up with your own special delights to treat your spouse with love from your heart. This next is especially for the husbands…when your wife asks you the DREADED question….”Does this dress look good on me?”
Even if the answer is “NO!” Take your wife in your arms and look directly into her eyes and tell her,
“YOU look beautiful my love!”
Happy Valentine’s Day!